Category: Lantern Lampoons

Obamanomics Solves the Crisis in the Middle East

Obamanomics Solves the Crisis in the Middle East

In what can only be described as a progressive Jihad by the Central planners. The State Department following the  current administrations lead, will be looking for community Organizers to contribute their time and expertise to promote a  the first progressive politically correct JOB FAIR. Hoping to draw experts in from...

North Dakota Names Landfill After Obama

The state of North Dakota has named a new publicly-owned landfill after President Barack Obama. In an overwhelming 35-10 vote, the state Senate advanced a bill naming a 650-acre site currently under construction after the nation’s 44th president. Governor Jack Dalrymple is expected to sign the measure into law Tuesday....

Citigroup to Move Headquarters to U.S. Capitol Building

Citigroup to Move Headquarters to U.S. Capitol Building

By Andy Borowitz WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The banking giant Citigroup announced on Friday that it would move its headquarters from New York to the U.S. Capitol Building, in Washington, D.C., in early 2015. Tracy Klugian, a spokesperson for Citi, said that the company had leased thirty thousand square feet of...

Life Lessons from Scarabaeidae

Life Lessons from Scarabaeidae

By Adolphus Benedict Poindexter, Esquire Fair Citizen’s of Shasta County, put your angst and worry away for I have returned. I am sure you have been distressed by my sudden and unexplained departure from the pages of the Shasta Lantern, but in all honesty after dealing with Tea Baggers and...

Dirty, Dry Gulching Statists Given Long Drop On Short Rope

Dirty, Dry Gulching Statists given long drop on short rope By Buford Clements, Self Appointed Constable of Justice of the Eastern Slope & Northern Marches, Frolicking Friar, Transitional Temporary Hangman Pro-Tem on as needed basis and Lead Antagonist of the Southern Alliance Panners, Pickers, 49ers, Hard Rockers and Mad Hatters...